|
|
Monday, June 23rd, 2008
| |
1:16 pm - tegan and sara
|
|
| Sunday, January 7th, 2007
| |
2:21 am
|
yowza!
i haven't wrote in this little thing for a while...
hm...just wanted to wish everyone merry late xmas and happy late year.
2007...
damn... time is passing fast..and i still don't know what to do with my life. it's crazy.
...other than the confusion. things are going well... i'm surviving. i got love, friends, family and a job that pays the bills ... can't really complain.
hope everybody's good too :)
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, January 14th, 2006
| |
2:43 am - in the back of your car, i feel like i have travelled nowhere.
|
jet lag has given me time check my lj and try to update. it's been a while..a long while. since september... i'm not dead yet!.
hm. so i went to taiwan over the christmas break to see my family, i also went to hokaido, japan with my granmother. we had the chance to spend lots of time together, we ate lots of good food (sushi, sashimi, crab, lobster, miso soup, japanese noodles and other japanese food)..i realise that i am not a big fan of jap food, its' not for me. it snowed a lot in Hokkaido, it was the first time that my granma had seen that much snow and she was sooo happy and it made me happy and warm inside to see her smile and like giggle like a little kid. it was a different side of my granma that i have never seen before. the tour we went on was a hot springs tour. so 3 out of the 4 nights, we stayed at hot spring hotels, which was amazing and a completely different experience for me, we slept on tatamis and we'd wear japanese pjs (forgot what the real word was) and we showered with other women in the hot springs. i was really shy at first, nobody has seen me completely naked (since i was a kid) .. not even my girlfriend or ex girlfriends, so it was terrifying at first and i didnt really wanna go, but i HAD to experience it, i mean com'on, i was in japan! ..so i went, LOTS of naked women, of all ages, never been surrounded by that many naked women before (why would i anyway?lol) ..and i gota say that i have never been that turned off by naked women before. haha, it was quite the experience.
i also spent lots of time with my parents, got to know them a little, my dad has changed a little ever since he got his job. hm. i think he's become happier because he enjoys his job and also because he's able to provide for his family (his parents, my mom and myself) more than he has ever been able to before. and he's able to give back to his parents which is a big accomplishment for any child. it's good to see him happy but i dont know how happy my mom is. she's changed also, i dont know, i just wish that i won't become like her...and that my relationship with my girlfriend will never become like what my parents have. it's sad. but they're my parents and i love them. ...and its sad because i dont know when's the next time i'm going to be in taiwan again, because once i graduate, im gonna be an "adult" with a 9 to 5 job and who knows when i'll have another 3 month summer vacation! ... life is going to be different. lots of changes are going to be made. ... i felt sad and happy at the same time coming back to montreal, happy because i missed my friends, my bed, my tv, my couch, my girlfriend and just everything..but sad because i'm back to life. i have start worrying about the future and think about school, friends, relationships, the past,..everything. sometimes i wish i was brain dead so i wouldnt have to worry about all that. ... i feel like i've become more negative about everything since i got back from taiwan...or maybe it's just cos i have jetlag. haha. who knows. i need to sleep right and clean up this apartment, it's filthy.
my friend patch is moving in with me soon. he's going to be my very first roomie. i'm excited but scared at the same time, i hope we won't get on each other's nerves too often and i hope i'll adapt to his presence all the time and learn to compromise and stuff. it's exciting to think about it.
so on my way back from taiwan, the flight from tokyo to chicago (11 hours) was AMAZING..i was upgraded for an unknown reason to first class ...and boy did i have a lot of space..the chair was AMAZING..it was like a bed...180 degrees, it was pretty amazing..but i couldnt sleep so i ended up watching 4 movies on my personal tv. rebound, in her shoes, madagascar and four brothers. it was prety cool. and my girlfriend attempted to surprise me at the airport cos she knows i love surprises and she realy wanted to see me...but our friend had spoiled the surprise and told me that she was coming. but it was still amazing to see her the minute i got off the plane. and oh buoi, i know not all americans are like this and i dont wanna offend any americans but fuck were they assholes at the o'hare airport, they practically ruin my day and my desire to go the the states EVER... maybe it's cos japanese ppl are so welcoming and helpful and polite and i got used to that and i had forgotten that some ppl can be assholes.
i feel like i'm not going anywhere in my life, i feel stuck, and i dont knwo why. its been a while that i've been feeling this way and i do not know why. it's frustrating. i'm not ready to go back to school and life and face everybody that i left back in december. i'm not ready to deal with all the fake drama that went on. im not ready ... i just want to stay home forever, watch tv and sleep...and eat from time to time. i'm going to be 20 soon, i'm kinda afraid. i will no longer be a teen. aaaaaah. haha. anyways... ima leave on a happy but obsessive note.
- my love for tegan and sara grows stronger and stronger every second. they are amazing. don't know what i would do without them. i'm not a freak ok, i just love their music and them and sometimes i wish i can find out where sara lives and stalk her. haha. totally joking..or am i? they make everything sound good, it's incredible.
i get up in the evening and i ain't got nothing to say
i come home in the morning - i go to bed feeling the same way
i am nothing but tired, man im just tired and bored with myself
hey there baby, i could use just a little help
you can't start a fire, you can't start a fire with a spark
this gun is for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark
you can't start a fire, sitting around crying over a broken heart
this gun is for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark
you can't start a fire, worrying about your little world falling apart
this gun is for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, September 30th, 2005
| |
11:31 pm
|
life is crrrrrazy. ... i always wanna update but i never know what to write. lol.
things are ok.. hard but ok ... getting by day by day. a lot's been happening yet nothing is really happening..it's kinda weird.. but anyways..just letting ppl know that i'm allllive!!!
aah.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, August 13th, 2005
| |
11:52 pm
|
a part of me can't wait to start school and champlain rugby and work and just keep myself busy busy busy so i dont have time to think about other stuff and just let time do its job. ..but another part of me just wants to hide in a hole and die. i'm thankful for my curiosity because it's the only thing that is keeping me alive...
current mood: sunburnt
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, August 8th, 2005
| |
10:29 am
|
i am officially a wal mart employee! woot woot!
it's my dream to wear one of those blue vests and cool name tags.
i'm gonna work at wal marrrrrrrt!!!
yay.
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, August 6th, 2005
| |
12:11 am
|
i wish i could fall asleep in her arms tonight...every night..
current mood: sad/sleepy..
current music: falling asleep - tegan and sara
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, August 5th, 2005
| |
2:00 pm - wow ... i'm starting to believe in dreams now..
|
i dreamt about all these things last night.. and i was bored so i researched online to see what they meant...they're all true! ... it's soo weird...well some of them i have no clue what they mean yet..but we'll see..maybe i think too much but .. it's very entertaining. hehe.
Stairs
To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs, indicates that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual/emotional/material journey.
Basketball
To dream that you are playing basketball, indicates that you will need the cooperation and assistance of others in order to achieve your goals. Perhaps you are standing in the way of your own progress and need to ask for help.
Balloon
To see balloons in your dream, indicates declining hopes in your search for love. A situation in your life will take a turn downward. Balloons also represent arrogance and an inflated opinion of yourself.? TIf you see black balloons in your dream, then it symbolizes depression, especially if the balloons are descending.
To see an ascending balloon in your dream, signifies frustrating conditions in your life in which you are seeking to rise above. On a positive note, balloons symbolize celebration and festivities. You need to acknowledge your inner child.
To see a balloon pop in your dream, symbolizes an unrealized goal or dream. It may also represent the stresses in your life. The pressure may be starting to be too great for you to bear.
Jumping
To dream that you are jumping, indicates that you need to take a risk and go for it. You will find progress toward your goals
Scream
If you try to scream, but no sound comes out, then is suggests that you need to immediately confront some situation. Perhaps you are unable to pinpoint your fears or feelings.
Gum
To dream that you are chewing gum, suggests that you are unable to express yourself effectively. You may feel vulnerable. Alternatively, is symbolizes a sticky situation that you found yourself in.
To dream that you are unable to get rid of your gum, suggests that you are experiencing some indecision, powerlessness or frustration.?You may lack understanding in a situation or find that a current problem is overwhelming.
so basically, i need to confront some issues, i need to express myself better i guess and i need to...i don't know.. get a life! haha.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
| |
11:40 pm - you're so tragedy and you were hard on me.
|
i'm putting my foot down. i'm standing up for myself.
go t go! haha.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, August 1st, 2005
| |
12:28 am - i've been tired for days and days...
|
so things were going "pretty well" for a lil bit... then they turned to dog poop again.
i guess the saying
"life's a bitch and then u die" is never wrong...
i'm tired of everything. anybody discover the disapearing potion yet? fuck ya!
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, July 17th, 2005
| |
2:27 am
|
so... after "analyzing" some of my couple-friends... i realised that some couples are complete bullshit. maybe it's just the different kinds of couples but. .. there are these ppl that never show each other affection or any sign of love. and then there are these ppl who fight over the smallest things! .. who the hell does that? ... get over it and move the fuck on! .. whats wrong with these people. .. anyways...after seeing these couples together...i realised once again how fucking lucky i am to have fallen in love with my best friend and to have her love me back.
everytime i see her, all i want to do is touch her, even if it's just a small thing like holding hands or touching bum to bum. i dont care, just any kind of physical contact, and it's painful to not touch her when i'm standing right next to her. so i dont understand these couples who dont even hold hands!!..it's like the best thing in the world! WHAT THE HELL! ... and everytime i talk to her, i just want to tell her how much i love her, i might be too cheesy. but i dont get those couples who never say i love you. how do you ppl function? lol. then there are the couples who fight over the smallest things. yes we have our problems and our moments but we never fight over REALLY small unseless things, what the hell? ....i'm not trying to diss anyone...
i'm just trying to say that i feel very very very lucky :)
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
| |
11:36 am
|
The Keys to Your Heart
|
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. |
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
| |
1:14 am - a distraction...
|
x: name: ting or tiffany
:x: height: 5'7"
:x: shoe size: 7 or 7 and a half i think.
:x: hair color: black black black
:x: siblings: none
:x: eyes: caca brown
:x: college: champlain college st lambert, woot woot.
:x: jr.high: antone brossard
:x: elementary: harold napper
:x: hometown: i was born in taipei but i grew up in brossard so..
:x: favorite place: on my couch, watching tv.
:x: favorite soda: hm..orange crush.
:x: game system: i dont play games.
:x: favorite food: my mom's cooking andn buffets :)
:x: favorite book: the alchemist..i dont read a lot but i realy like this one.
:x: favorite pen: hotel pens :)
:x: favorite car: AUDI! and mini coopers
:x: favorite animal: puppies and tigers
:x: water brand: water is water
:x: favorite burger place: mcd's, harvey's and la belle province.
:x: favorite hobby: watching tv and writing
:x: favorite friends: i love adn hate them all equally.
:x: bar or club: none.
:x: favorite vitamins: flinstones.
:x: favorite show: gilmore girls, friends, grey's anatomy, sex and the city, six feet under
:x: favorite news: i dont watch the news, too depressing and angering.
:x: gold or silver: white gold. woot woot.
:x: favorite dog: hm..cute ones?
:x: cell phone co.: fido! lol.
:x: favorite shirt: my new tegan and sara ones :)
:x: favorite sport: rugby and basketball.
:x: favorite alcohol: beer and sangria and pina coladas
:x: favorite computer: euh.. whatever works, not apples tho :\
:x: favorite fruit: mango, pineapple, water melons.
:x: favorite song: my number. from tegan and sara and how do i live by leann rimes..i got many more.
:x: ketchup or salsa: both, depends for what.
:x: favorite milkshake: i dont like milk..or milk that has been shook.
:x: steak or lobster: both :) yummy.
:x: favorite color: brown and black.
:x: favorite weather: not too hot, not too cold. cold enough to wear a hoodie but hot enough to waer shorts. u knwo what i mean?
:x: favorite state: i hate them all.
you…
:x: have a crush on someone: always.
:x: wish you could live somewhere else: i like where i'm at, thanks.
:x: think about suicide: who doesnt think about suicide?
:x: believe in online dating: sure.
:x: want more piercings: nope.
:x: like cleaning: sometimes, when i get in the groove.
:x: like roller coasters: nope.
:x: write in cursive or print: depends on my mood.
:x: last talked to: fred.
:x: last thought of: that i smell like off. damn misquitos.
:x: last did laundry: last weekend i think.
:x: last hugged a tree: dont remember.
:x: last watched anime: hm. ditto.
:x: last prayed: hm. i talk to myself a lot, does that count?
for or against
:x: long distant relationships: whatever floats ur boat.
:x: killing people: against
:x: teenage smoking: whatever, just as long u dont let me inhale the second hand smoke, mofos.
:x: driving drunk: against
:x: gay/lesbian relationships: sure, love is love.
:x: soap operas: whatever floats ur boat.
have you…
:x: ever cried over a boy: yup, a long time ago tho.
:x: ever been in a fist fight: not yet.
:x: ever been arrested: no but i've been stopped by cops.
:x: ever had a friend die: a cousin.
:x: ever dated a cousin: nope. he died. lol.... ok not that funny i guess.
:x: ever used a gun: not yet.
:x: ever frenched kiss: yes
:x: ever finished a puzzle: yup.
:x: ever got surgery: hm.. no.
:x: ever got beat up: no...
:x: ever hated someone: oh yea.
:x: ever made a huge mistake: hm.. sure. who hasnt.
:x: ever tried any drugs: yup.
:x: ever jogged a mile: yaaaa.
:x: ever played w/ someone’s feelings: yes.
:x: ever had feelings for someone young: yea. i'm a pedophile.
what…
:x: shoes do you wear: converse all stars or my skate shoes.
:x: are you scared of: insects and ghosts that includes scary movies.
:x: do you sleep in: shorts and tshirt.
:x: did you eat for lunch: a sandwhich.
:x: is love: baby don't hurt me, no more.
number…
:x: of times I have had my heart broken?: hm. i dont know. once i think. like really broken, not the crush ones.
:x: of hearts I have broken?: i dont know.
:x: of girls I have kissed?: euh... i have to count hold on... 7 ? 8? i dont know.
:x: of boys I have kissed?: 2 or 3? i dont remember.
:x: of guys/girls you've rejected?: 2 or 3.
:x: of drugs you taken: 1 ?
:x: of accidents you been in: none that i remember of.
:x: of people you lead on?: none. well that i am aware of.
:x: of people you broke up with?: 2.
do you think you are…
:x: funny: sometimes, i have a weird sense of humor.
:x: hot: i'm sweating.
:x: friendly: sure, if u approach me first.
:x: ugly: sometimes
:x: loveable: sometimes.
:x: caring: yes
:x: dorky: yes
:x: cocky: no? .yes. maybe sometimes.
:x: girly: sometimes.
:x: boyish: yes
:x: smart: ..hha i try.
:x: pimp: no
:x: angel: do you think you are angel? . there's something wrong with this sentence.
:x: gangster: no.
:x: god: no
favorite…
:x: five letter word: weirdo.
:x: comedian: dont have one.
:x: candy: dont have one.
:x: cartoon: simpsons?
:x: cereal: frosted flakes, i dont eat cereal but i like those.
:x: chewing gum: excel and bubble gum ones.
:x: day of week: they're all the same to me...since it's summer and im jobless.
:x: least fave day: ditto.
:x: jello flavor: red!
:x: summer/winter: i like both and i hate both.
:x: trampolines or swimming pools: trampolines, i dont like pools i dont like to get wet.
person who last…
:x: slept in your bed: slept? .. um.. laura probably. lied in my bed.? .. my gf.
:x: saw you cry: dont remember.
:x: made you cry: oy.
:x: you went to the movies with: my gf and jo.
:x: yelled at you: my ex boss. fucking bitch.
:x: sent you an email: junk mail ppl.
have you ever…
:x: said "i love you" and meant it?: yup.
:x: gone out in public in your pajamas? yes
:x: kept a secret from everyone?: we all have secrets.
:x: cried during a movie?: ya. i cried at the end of elf. :\ i'm such a loser.
:x: ever at anytime owned new kids on the block?: yea. i bought their video tape at a garage sale when i was young.
:x: planned your week based on the TV Guide?: haha. sure.
:x: been on stage?: yes
:x: been to New York?: yes
:x: been to Wyoming?: nope. dont think i want to.
:x: been to Florida?: no. yes. maybe. i dont remmeber. maybe when i was little.
:x: Hawaii?: no
:x: Europe?: yup.
:x: spring or fall?: fall..hoodie season! woot woot.
:x: what are you gonna do after you finish this?: watch tv and mope around . woot woot.
:x: what was the last meal you ate?: pizza, with my rugby peeps.
:x: are you bored?: just a little bit.
:x: last noise you heard?: tv.
:x: last smell you sniffed?: off. damn misquitoes.
:x: last time you went out of state/province?: hm. 2- 3 weeks ago.
friendship/love…
:x: do you believe in love at first sight?: lust
:x: do you want children one day & if so, how many?: 2 or 3. maybe.
:x: most important thing to you in a friendship is?: support and no bs.
:x: criminal record?: no
:x: do you speak any other languages?: yes.
:x: name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: my bed and my blankie. and my clothes and my amp and my cmoputer..i love everything in my room. except the water bucket my mom put and the dust.
:x: piercings and where?: eyebrow.
:x: worst feeling in the world?: broken heart. and being messed with.
:x: whom you love: my tv.
your…
:x: nickname(s): anime, tingaling, watever.
:x: initials: tts
:x: how old do you look?: 19?
:x: how old do you act?: depends.
:x: you get embarrassed?: yea sure.
:x: what upsets you?: many things.
current mood:  cranky
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, July 10th, 2005
| |
2:20 am - six feet under
|
... i've been watching lots of six feet under.. cos i finished watching all of sex and the city. (i love that show) .. so .. because i've been watching so much six feet under..i've been thinking a lot about death and life. not a lot of things make sense, but that's ok, cos i've accepted that we won't ever get answers. we just have to live our lives and try to make the best out of every situation... but .. i often find myself being angry at a lot of things, .. or maybe just life in general. and i don't like that. i enjoy the little things in life, the little happy moments here and there, the little things that make life seem worthwhile. i dont regret anything that i've done because it has led me here, and it has made me who i am, the things i've gone through, the ppl i've met, the places i've been to, etc. so shouldn't i be happy? ... i've "accepted" my past, i've "accepted" my present, i've "accepted" life and death. shouldn't i be happy in general? ..or maybe i'm still too angry ... i just can't seem to find any peace of mind.
does ANY of this make sense? oy.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
| |
2:28 am - i realised that...
|
nothing's easy,
infomercials are fun,
getting your period on the eve of your rugby game is not cool,
chapped lips really hurt,
lying under the sun makes me sleepy,
life is boring without her,
i don't have any real friends,
tegan and sara rule (i already knew that, thought i'd mention it again),
i'm WAYYY too obsessed with tegan and sara,
tegan and sara! wOOt wOOt!!,
i need a massage,
i can't live without my hoodies,
driving at night alone makes me very very sad, but i love it!
maybe i should do volunteer work,
angelina jolie is NOT perfect, whoa,
i miss my mommy,
regret is the worst thing in the world,
everything changes,
but some things will never change,
i kinda miss school,
why do couples fight over the smallest things? (oops that's a question)
i have way too much time on my hands,
i need sleep.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
2:10 am - this entry contains lots of pictures
|
|
| Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
| |
3:31 am - good times...
|
|
| Friday, July 1st, 2005
| |
4:58 am - ever have so many stupid questions keeping u awake at night?
|
ever feel like you're nothing? not even a dust in the wind.
is it weird that i want time to go by fast but at the same time i dont' want to grow old?
is it normal to be in a "relationship" and not see each other very often, or at all?
ever feel so sad that no tears will come out?
ever feel like dying but at the same time you want to live to see how ur life turns out?
ever hurt urself just to enjoy the pain and the sight of blood?
ever feel like ur alone in the world, and nobody else sees u or hears u or feels ur presence?
ever feel like ur dreaming even though you are perfectly awake?
ever feel like your dreams are so real that you moves ur arms in ur bed cos in the dream you're falling?
what's the saddest song in the world?
who has the saddest love story in the world?
what is a perfect relationship?
ever have so much anger and rage in you that ... you feel like u can break down brick walls with ur bare hands?
can we really live without our parents?
is really taking good care of our bodies and health necessary since we're all going to die anyway?
what's the point of having a gazillion dollars if you're going to die anyways?
is dying good or bad? ---> bad cos ull be erased from the face of the place, good cos if everybody stays alive forever then life would be meaningless.
are sunsets prettier or sunrises prettier?
did michael jackson really touch those little boys? ... including macaulay culkin?
ever have so many thoughts in your head that ur not really thinking?
if there's no afterlife then what is the point of living this one?
are there things/moments/ppl/events that made such a negative impact on ur life that u will probably never be able to let go?..and what do u do if u can't let go?
do you really have to forget to forgive?
if this love is so strong and true then why the fuck does it hurt so much?
...
current mood:  weird
current music: just a lil bit on musique plus
|
|
(7 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, June 27th, 2005
| |
1:08 pm - new york city
|
so i went to nyc this weekend with the purpose of seeing Tegan and Sara live in Central park for the summerstage thingie. but the day before we took a cab to go somewhere and we passed by the gay village (i guess) and there wer lots of gay flags everywhere and the cab driver said that there would be a parade. and i was excited! so we went to the parade for a little bit and then we went to central park. the parade was cool. not as cool as montreal's tho. lots less naked ppl. but there were lots of different races and stuff so that was fun. ...the sad part was, there were ppl (jews and church ppl) protesting against gays. in the beginning of the parade! ... i understand if they're against it and if they want us to know. but why do they have to rain on our parade! LITERALLY! .. anyways.. i was very angry at that.
tegan and sara were amazing! sara was soo adorable and tegan told us a funny story about edgefest and her exbf. i alwasy enjoy seeing them in concert. even tho it was hot hot hot hot hot. i have never sweated sooo fucking much in my entire life! it's crrrrrazy! i feel like a groupie cos i went to toronto to see their show with the killers and now nyc. hehe. ..i might go back again july 14th. :P i'm obsessed
anywho... i've been really depressed and angry lately. i dont know how to get rid of it and it's pissing me off and it's causing me more anger!! ..i need anger management or something. :\
current mood: irritated
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
| |
1:56 am
|
hey peeps!
i'm ordering wristbands online that says TEGAN AND SARA , they'll be red. and approximately 4$ .. if u want one. please let me know. :)
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dumb_and_jaded's journal
